14 - Innuendo

Some years went by and I noticed that there was something strange with me when it came to women. I realized it when I was out with Sim at the park one day and a young woman came and sat beside me on the bench. I didn't even take her into consideration until she asked me a question.
"Is that your son?" she asked.
I turned to her and it was like my sexual drive just shot through the roof. It took everything I could do for me not the jump the woman and sex her right there in the park. I stiffened in more ways than one and answered her question quickly. She told me about herself and that she was taking a little girl she was baby sitting to play and all that jazz. She was very nice and very pretty but I couldn't say a word. If I had spoken, I knew something inappropriate as well as dirty would have come from my mouth and I would have probably been banned from the playground for trying to hit up women.
She finally left and I grabbed up Sim quickly, rushing home so that I could get away. But I didn't bring my car because I forgot that I had promised Sim I would get him some ice cream at the vendor on the way home. I bought it for him and the ice cream lady handed the cone to me. When her finger brushed mine, again, my libido sky rocketed and I almost shoved the cone into Sim's hands and left the place. As we walked, women everywhere who were in proximity to me made me almost sick with passion. I had to hurry up and get home before I would so something drastic or perverted.
I finally had to call a cab and we went home. Sim was confused as I ushered him into the car and the cab took us home quicker than the walking. I was really confused and a little frightened by everything thathad justhappened to me but I didn't want to scare my son. We finally got home and I rushed up the stairs and sighed against the door.
Sim was watching me with curious eyes.
"Daddy, what's wrong?" he asked.
"Nothing, Sim-Sim… Just… I don't really know. Come on, Uncle Tarot will be home in a little while and he will want dinner on the table."
Sim nodded, licking his ice cream cone and I started on dinner.
When Tarot came home, I sent Sim to the bath and started on dinner.
"Tarot, I need to talk to you about something."
"What is it?" he asked, grabbing a beer from the fridge.
"Something weird happened to me today. I… I don't think I'll be able to go out with women anymore."
"Did you ogle at a guy or something?" he asked, not joking.
"No… This woman sat beside me when I was at the park and… and something just snapped inside of me. On the way there everything was fine but all of a sudden it was like my sexual drive just shot through the roof. I wanted to have sex with her as soon as I looked at her. I didn't care… It happened with the ice cream lady and then walking home, every girl I came in contact with made my almost painfully aroused. I don't know what it was but…"
"That sounds serious. You should get checked out. Maybe you have some sort of disease or something…" he said with a worried look.
"Whatever it is, I know I won't be able to be around women. I just can't… For my sake as well as theirs."
"Maybe it was a social shock or something. You really haven't left to go anywhere for almost three years. I mean, you've gone to little places and picked up fast food or whatever, but I mean you haven't been out-out."
"I don't know…"
"Well you can't back out now!" he growled at me.
"And why not? What do you mean?"
"I got us a couple of dates for Friday night."
"Tarot!"
"What? She had a sister! I couldn't just leave her hanging! And I was like, I've got a great guy who needs a date."
"But I didn't need one." I snapped.
Tarot looked at me and assessed me quickly.
"You're turning into a housedad. I don't look down on that, but at least get some action on the side."
"Unfortunately for both of us, unlike you, when I have sex with a woman I'm the one who bares the consequences and gets pregnant! How could you do this to me?!" I yelled, turning just in time to catch boiling water just about to boil over.
"Well, excuse the hell out of me. I thought you'd be happy to have a date after three years. You need to get back into the game, look for sources. I mean, do you really want the role model for your son as a mother to be Julie?"
"Ironically, she is his mother so I don't see the problem."
"That guy that she married is a complete ass. You know that, and I know that. Whatever Julie saw in him is not good quality. She went downhill from you, bud."
"I appreciate that but I mean, I'm content. Sim's content."
"Sim asks about his mother all the time. He wants to know why all his little friends have mommies and he only has a daddy."
I cracked noodles and then looked back at him.
"What do you mean?"
"Sim asks all the time. Don't you pay attention?"
"Of course I do… And what have you told him?"
"The truth. He does have a mother but she's not here because she's with someone else. It's as gently as I can put it without calling his mother a succubus bitch to his face."
"What's that?" I heard Sim say as he walked into the kitchen, soaking wet and naked.
"Sim!" I yelled, scooping him up and giving Tarot a look as I took him back to the bathroom. "Where's your towel, bud?"
"In my room… Daddy, what's a suck-bus bitch?"
I rolled my eyes and vowed to make Tarot eat carrots for dinner but smiled back at Sim.
"Nothing that needs to be in your vocabulary yet. That's a bad word, alright? Only grownups can say that word. If you hear Uncle Tarot say it again, give him a good kick in the leg for me, alright?"
Sim nodded, though he seemed confused. Good, I wanted him to stay confused.

"Are you sure you don't mind, Miller?" I asked as Tarot and I began to leave.
"I have it, Dexter. It is an honor to baby sit for you. I'm glad you're getting out." He said, waving us off impatiently.
"His bed time is at 9:00 and-"
"Bye, Miller, thanks!" Tarot said, shoving me out the door. "Quit it. He's a qualified doctor if something happens and he's there so you can have a good time. Okay? Let's have fun."
"Tarot, I don't think this is a good idea."
"Shut up you're screwing up my mood."
I groaned as we got into Tarot's car to go pick up the girls.
We stopped in front of their house and Tarot honked the horn. I hadn't been on the dating market for a while but I still hated the honking thing. Tarot got out and greeted the girls as they came down their drive and then opened the doors for them. That same feeling came over me and I tensed up.
"Girls, this is the friend I was talking about. This is Dexter Leoda. Dex, this is Lacy and Patricia."
I turned and my libido shot up at the two beautiful blondes in the back of Tarot's car dressed in club clothes.
"Hi… I'm Patricia. I'm going to be your date." She said, pointing.
I smiled and nodded and then quickly turned back to the road. This was going to be a long, long night.

The night went on and I was beginning to get dizzy from holding back on different aspects of my body as well as other things. The proximity to Patricia at dinner would have been bareable if Lacy hadn't been right on the other side of me and another buxom blonde to the right at the next table. Patricia asked if I was sick at one point and I just shook my head.
"You don't talk much, do you?" she asked, threading her arm into mine.
I clenched my pants, trying not to just jump her.
"Don't worry, I won't bite or anything. I'm just as nice as anything."
"You'll have to forgive him. He's been out of the spotlight for a while."
"Was there a particular reason?"
"My wife left me and also our newborn son with me. I've been raising him since birth." I said, trying not to clench my teeth too obviously.
"Really? Why did she leave you, if you don't mind me asking."
"We had some complications and so when she had the baby, since it was part of me, she didn't want it at all."
"That's horrible. You must be an excellent father."
"He really is a good dad." Tarot said for me. "Come on girls, let's get to the club."
We all left and went to the club.
Once we got there, I refused to dance until Patricia grabbed my hands and pulled me to the dance floor. She was dancing on me and it was getting harder and harder to control myself in so many ways. Finally, I snapped and as she danced in front of me, I grabbed her arms and planted a kiss on her.
"You've finally come out of your shell I see…"
I smiled and kissed her more and more, her lips, her neck, her shoulders. I finally pushed her toward those 'private' areas and kissed her passionately on the wall there.
"Dexter…" she breathed and I continued on.
I pushed her through the door and I started to take off my shirt and she threw off her dress, it landing on the bed. I laid her down, unbuckling my pants as I licked her down her cleavage, which was massive, I might add. As I unzipped my pants, reality came back to me and I stopped kissing her.
"Dexter?"
"I'm sorry. I have to leave. Right now. It has nothing to do with you, I promise." I said, grabbing my shirt and walking out.
I went through the dancing people to get out of the club and walked toward home. I hailed a cab and rode back home. As I sat, my phone rang and I answered it.
"Yes?"
"Where are you? Patricia is in hysterics here."
"I took a cab home. I almost screwed her, Tarot. Right there in the club… I can't do this. Something's wrong with me and I need to know what it is."
I hung up before he could say another word.

I opened the door and Sim ran to me. I picked him up as Miller walked in from the living room.
"You're home alone? Are you alright?"
"Miller, something's going on with me and I need your help a little."
"Alright. I will try to help."
"Can a man's libido be triggered almost instantaneously by looking at a woman?"
"Instantly? No… Why?"
"If a woman comes near me, touches me or even speaks to me, my libido goes so high that I almost get sick. I can't be around women."
"That is odd… You said that what happened to you was caused by an experiment, yes?"
"Well a mixture…"
"Tell me, seahorses, how often do they breed?"
"Breed? Is there a point to this?"
"Answer my question and we will see."
"A seastallion usually incubates for 9-45 days. He's usually ready to re-mate within a few hours."
"I see… anything else interesting with the seahorse?"
"They have a mating ritual and while the male is pregnant his mate sees him every morning."
"I see… I think some of those traits have been absorbed into you now, Dexter."
I set Sim down and sent him to his room to play for a bit.
"What do you mean?"
"The depression that you had might have been due, yes, to the fact of your divorce, but maybe also to the fact that your wife didn't come to see you at all. From what I learned, most seahorse young don't make it, yes?"
"Most of the time."
"Maybe that's why you um… lost your other one. Also, the libido. The males are ready to re-mate in a few hours, yes? Maybe for you, it is a few years. Your body says it's time to make more children but your brain is saying no."
"That's a possibility… I'd actually have to go back to the lab and study up. I still never got my research done on that… Thanks, Miller. That helps a lot…"
"You're welcome. I guess you'll be here then?"
"Yeah. Thanks again."
He nodded and I pulled out my wallet.
"No, no. I am a doctor, I make plenty of money."
I smiled as he left and I closed the door. I sighed and looked down at my stomach.
"Hmm… That would explain a lot…" I grumbled as I went to check on Sim.